John Sr., Going Home

There's a feeling I can't capture

it's always just a prayer away

I want to know the ending of things hoped for and not seen

but I guess that's the point of hoping anyway

I have felt you with my spirit

I have felt you fill this room

and this is just an invitation,

just a sample on the whole

and I can't wait to be going home



Going home, I'll meet you at the table

Going home, I'll meet you in the air

and you are never to young to think about it

I can not wait to be home.

Face to face how can it be?


from "Conversations" by Sara Groves

Remembering John Sr.

My former husband, the father of my children went home to God on July 5th. I had some blessed times with him in the days before. Both funerals were occasions for his families to pull together and for all of us to appreciate the man that he was and to grow in our appreciation of the great variety of people his life had embraced. The first funeral was Masonic. I must confess I have never been to a Masonic function before but I had grown to be favorably impressed with the "Village" where he lived for the last couple of years of his life. I really liked the gracious staff and I thought his care although not perfect was good and administered with respect and kindness. I found myself looking forward to holidays and dinner with him. The residents appreciated him so much there. As one woman told me, he brought cheer to everyone. He laughed about his popularity and told a friend that being African American and male in this mostly white female group was a great advantage. I'd worried that he would have trouble adjusting to a group that had no other men of his race in it but that was not the case. While he was there he integrated the "open" Masonic group that met there and five of the brothers from that group came to the service given by the African American brothers from the Prince Hall lodge. I thought the service was good and the singing they led and the prayers were definitely Christian. "Blessed assurance, Jesus is mine". The next day there was an Orthodox service at his beautiful Russian Orthodox church so beautifully painted with pictures of Jesus. Johnny,our son had a part in the service and talked about his father's unwillingness to see the world in terms of "black and white". I was so proud of them both. His cousin sang very beautifully and his Godly but so down to earth priest, Father Vincent, and his Orthodox friend conducted the liturgical service, much of which is scripture.

Nothing I could say would even begin to be complete without telling about the part that Sunday our daughter and her husband Dr. Keith played in this story because they were the people that God used to orchestrate so much of it. Their unwavering love and attention over two and a half years got John into Temple hospital where he had an unsurpassed lung specialist and received an experimental procedure that gave him two good years. What a blessing that child and her supportive Dr. husband were to her father. Also it was Sunday's persistence that got her father into rehab and Masonic Village where he wanted to be. In addition we were supported by the prayers of so many people from our churches and our friends. John, Jude and I handled finding this support. As Big John would sometimes say when I visited him, "There she is, the 'Mother". Thinking of my children, I consider this a wonderful compliment.